Dublin Selected *167

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The past twelve months have bolted past, Usain style, and once more we find ourselves in the festive season. It's a time to laugh, a time to weep. A time to meet up and a time to drink deep and this year we think we've been on the nice side of naughty. 

From our Full Screen series (returning in the new year) to a Street Feast, hosting the School of Life or inviting Gered Mankowitz into our home in South Studios to chat about his life in photography, we sincerely hope we remained a relevant piece of the inspiring jigsaw of creativity we document every week here.

To our 16,000 subscribers, our 12,000 Twitter followers and 10,000 Facebook fans we say thanks for sticking by us and sharing, contributing and supporting the things that make us buzz about living in Dublin now.

To our writers, photographers, cover artists and stalkers, we mistletoe you all for your continued aceness

Happy Christmas to one and all and see you on the flip side (January 17th).

Who has their claws in Santa this year? Ciaran, Michael, KateJerath, Amy or Camille.

'Everything in it is fake.'- Fergal Brennan
... Read More
   
 

December 13 2012


where
The Lir, Pearse Street (at Grand Canal Quay), Dublin 2


when
6:30pm (nightly until Sat)

how much
€30 / €20

theatre
Forest Fringe

The Fringe Festival lays claim to the relevance of the now and buzz of the next. Forest Fringe is a theatrical potpourri of such allowing people experience 9 elements in The Lir Academy. Thankfully there's a second chance to see Dan Canham's acclaimed 30 Cecil Street and Veronica Dyas's In My Bed, a standout from 2011. The outstanding Amy Conroy (I ♥ Alice ♥ I, Eternal Rising of the Sun) gives a first glimpse of her new work Break. Live artist Deborah Person who co-founded Forest Fringe in Edinburgh brings her latest work The Future Show to Dublin. Kieran Hurley maps a journey from Glasgow to the G8 summit in Hitch while Charlotte Jarvis presents All American Hero, an installation scrutinising the confluence of reality TV and the body.  This is your best chance to see the both the wood and the trees. / Michael McDermott

 

December 13 2012


where
Light House Cinema , Smithfield Market, Dublin 7
Location Map

when
1:10pm & 4:15pm

how much
€6-€9

cinema
Turn Me On, Goddammit!

"Turn me on, goddammit!" is a tall order for anyone, with the exception of Ryan Gosling who simply has to blink an eyelid before women fall to their knees. In this case, the provocative phrase serves not as a bossy command for a paramour, but as the title of a sweet, offbeat Norwegian coming-of-age tale. Centering on a fifteen-year-old named Alma as she is consumed by raging hormones and pursues the object of her affections, Artur, Turn Me On, Goddammit! is that rare thing – a tale of adolescent sexual awakening told from an entirely feminine perspective. While phone sex, porno magazines and masturbation are all present in Turn Me On, Goddammit!, the film never descends into puerile or crass territory. It is instead a truthful and charming depiction of adolescence  - a Scandinavian gem. Go see it, goddammit! / Amy O'Connor

 

December 13 2012


where
The Bernard Shaw, 11-12 South Richmond Street, Portobello, Dublin 2.
Location Map

when
7pm

how much
Free

book launch
Inside Out

It's the most accessible and demographic art and it resides in the biggest gallery there is. Street art breaks the monotony of the daily trudge, adding value to our cityscapes. The Irish scene has clearly improved over the last two years with local artists honing skills and international artists adding their own iconography. The Irish street art book has also improved. It's two years since Rua Meegan and Lauren Teeling brought out their first Visual Feast, and tonight they launch the second installment. It's a beautifully put together snap-shot of Irish street art, covering pray paint, stencils, paste-ups, tilings and murals. Peruse the brilliant Conor Harrington as he turns Inchicore into the 'Promised Land', smirk at ADW's politically tinged comedy and be wowed by Phlegm's incredible Submarine Salmon of Knowledge, among many others. / Vernon Steel

   
 

December 13 2012


where
The Little Museum, 15 St. Stephen's Green Dublin 2


when
10:30am-8pm

how much
Free (on Thursdays)

exhibition
Heart of the City

Brendan Walsh's Heart of the City (1972-1982) black and white photos of stoic inner city characters masks the adversity of their lives with their pride of being the focus of his shutter action. Collaborator Ronan Sheehan points out in his notes: "On your street, you are a citizen. In the inner-city, you are a problem.  By 1980, the children of this part of  the city were statistics on the files of various government agencies.... In many shots, we look up at people, not down. We are invited to wonder at them. They are seen in a living and liveable space. They are the equals of the viewer, not their inferiors. They are vital, attractive." Once an assistant to German-American photographer Evelyn Hofer, Walsh offers us a valuable time capsule insight into lives on our doorstep which we often regrettably still choose to close the door to. / Michael McDermott

 

December 14 2012


where
Andrews Lane Theatre, 9-17 St Andrews Lane, Dublin 2.
Location Map

when
10pm-Late

how much
€5 before 11, €7 after

club night
Jonny Woo

Appearing at F.A.G. this Friday is London "nu-wave drag" superstar Jonny Woo. He's a fixture on the London scene where his brand of hilarious rap poetry and electro club thumpers, topped off with an outrageous hard-to-define look (think hairy drag queen who was crawling through Hickey's basement when a glitter explosion went off) have made him a legendary figure. He has had long-running residencies at The Soho Theatre and the ICA and created events for The Royal Opera House and MTV among others. And chances are if you've been to a festival from Glastonbury to Edinburgh to Electric Picnic you'll be familiar with his unique brand of guerrilla drag antics. He's a busy man, and very very far from boring. Win Tickets / Panti

 

December 14 2012


where
Project Arts Centre, 39 East Essex St, Dublin 2.
Location Map

when
December 10th - 15th

how much
€15/12/8

dance
Outsider

A trio of pieces gives the audience an insight into the delicacy of emotion, skill and strength of choreographer Kyle Abrahams' work, leaving no doubt as to why he has being heralded as one of the hottest talents on the American contemporary dance stage. Presented between two solo works (mesmerizingly performed by Abrahams himself), IMDT also leave a distinctive mark of presence in their performance of Outsider, bringing us to a range of places through effervescent energy, taking into account plummets from joy to evisceration, the challenge of the self, in a real expression of music and dance that makes you want to get up there. Abrahams describes his influences with nods towards hip hop and rave culture, this is an opportunity to witness the confluence of these forms moving beyond current dance practice in a fluidity of motion like no other. Win Tickets / Jessica Hilliard 

 

December 14 2012


where
Ranelagh Arts Centre
Ranelagh village
Dublin 6


when
Until December 23rd, 11am-6pm daily

how much
Depends...

le other
12 days in Ranelagh

The 12 days of Christmas price index stands at €75000 Euro now - partridge, pear tree, geese, calling birds et al. Yet a mere smidgen of that will grab you some great Irish designed buys at Ranelagh's Christmas Pop up Boutique as it makes a comeback to one of the yummiest boroughs in the city. Aesthetically sound stocking fillers start at €10 with an array of home made gifts from the cool new school of Irish design that includes Jenny Walsh , Grainne Lyons, Klickity, Slated, Ursula Celano, Artysmarty and Laura Cassidy amongst many more. No excuses now! Time to engage in some patriotic shopping and lay your mittens on their uber trendy jewellery, homewares, ceramics, lighting, linen, tableware, prints and of course festive greeting cards within the borders of that silly ole credit card limit. / Elish Bul-Godley

   
 

December 14 2012


where
St. Patrick's Cathedral, 21 Patrick's Close, Dublin 8
Location Map

when
8pm-10:30pm

how much
Free

choir
Glória - Christmas at St. Patrick's Cathedral

As Christmas approaches, many are beginning to feel the ennui brought on by excess cheer and crowds.  (Related: how many bruises have you sustained in the hustle and bustle of festive shopping? Has your face assumed the permanent shape of a dirty look? Have you been caught muttering expletives under your breath at strangers?) Yes, Christmas is a stressful time, so why not relax and unwind by listening to the dulcet tones of Dublin's Lesbian and Gay Choir, Glória? For their annual Christmas concert, taking place in the suitably hallowed surroundings of St. Patrick's Cathedral, the celebrated choir will perform a mix of traditional yuletide favourites, as well as other songs from their eclectic repertoire, which encompasses everything from the classical to the camp. A true winter warmer. / Amy O'Connor

 

December 14 2012


where
Unitarian Church, St Stephen's Green West, Dublin 2
Location Map

when
8.30pm

how much
€10

ep launch
Francesco Turrisi

Playing with the likes of Sean Carpio, Caoimhin O'Rathalaigh, Kate Ellis in groups such as Tarab, T.R.E., Gato Azul and Zahr, it takes effort to avoid Francesco Turrisi. Like some of his other work, Songs of Experience is contemporary jazz inspired by a fusion of traditional Mediterranean music and early baroque. He plays across the world, in groups such as the famous L'Arpeggiata, has recorded for Virgin, played for Rough Magic's Peer Gynt, and generally lives the jazz/trad dream. Whatever that is. For the launch Turrisi will be on piano, joined by Fulvio Sigurta' on trumpet and drummer Joao Lobo. This Italian musical powerhouse is one of the examples why Dublin is evidently a city worth living in. Also, for those interested in seeing what a flugelhorn looks like, there will be one in attendance. / Roisín Agnew

 

December 15 2012


where
The Grand Social, 35 Lower Liffey Street, Dublin 1.
Location Map

when
8pm

how much
€16

gig
Lower Dens

The best word to describe the sound of Lower Dens is tactile. You don't hear it so much as absorb it. This music envelops you in luxurious washes of monochrome tone, narcotic clouds of blacks and grays, all shot through with a glamorous fatalism. But just when it threatens to drift off into nothingness, the insistent motorik drumbeat whips things back into focus. It's definitely Black Velvet, but think seductive, sensuous sound-world instead of slow, southern style. Playing live, expect them to nail it. These Baltimore natives are all old hands musically, which explains how they're already so damn good after just two albums. If you caught these guys at Forbidden Fruit (you did, right?) now's your chance to experience them in the darkened, intimate venue they deserve. This music needs the night. Win Tickets / Marcus O'Sullivan

 

December 15 2012


where
The Light House Cinema, Market Square, Smithfield, Dublin 7
Location Map

when
from 9pm, film starts 10:30pm

how much
€9

party
Hollywood Babylon

"It's beginning to look a lot like -- bloodshed!" So goes the second best tagline from the original yuletide slasher (If you've been very nice this year we'll tell you the other one) Hollywood Babylon continue their 'disreputable' movie screenings with Bob Clarks 1974 horror mystery- the film that, arguably, kick-started the whole slasher genre. A group of sorority girls start receiving very weird phone calls during the Christmas holidays. They don't move out of their creepy house. A stranger living in the attic starts stalking them. Their house-mother is a whisky-chugging lush. They still don't move out of their creepy house. They get gruesomely murdered. Oh now you want to move out? Event kicks off with drinks in the bar at 9pm, bad Christmas song mixtapes for the first 25 and pass the parcel. Disclaimer: prize may or may not be a severed head. Win Tickets / Adam Duxbury

 

December 15 2012


where
Vicar Street, 58-59 Thomas Street, Dublin 2.
Location Map

when
7:30pm

how much
€23

gig
God Is An Astronaut

That their moniker was pulled from 90s cult classic Nightbreed instantly endeared me to God is an Astronaut. That their instrumental post-rock stylings are cut from the same cloth as the likes of Explosions in the Sky and Mogwai was an important after note. It's a sound that only a handful of bands are able to fully realise, and which GIAA have been perfecting for bang on a decade. To celebrate the occasion, they're once again bringing their mesmerising live show to Dublin. A love for the music they produce is most evident on stage, and the combination of compelling visuals and undulating soundscapes produces the sensory equivalent of a descent to Jupiter. If the world is to end in the coming weeks, this may be your last chance for the experience before we find out if God really does traverse the universe in a space suit. Win Tickets / Jerath Head

   
 

December 15 2012


where
Workman's Club, 10 Wellington Quay D2
Location Map

when
8pm

how much
€10

gig
Young Wonder

Be careful Dublin. One of these days Cork will overtake you in the cool stakes. Jackeens have been resting on their laurels and the langers are laying in wait. Whether it's Killarney throwing up some of the finest examples of street art I've seen all year, The Project Twins horsing out brilliant graphical work, le cool's own publishing pony Michael McDermott and now Young Wonder. The Queen was well ahead of the curve. Comprised of producer Ian Ring's woozy beats and Rachel Koeman's enchanting, ethereal vocals, Young Wonder are your new favourite band, like. Reminiscent of The Knife with cuts of iamamiwhoami, they have uber polished production and mix big beats with euphoric synths. The Workman's plays host to the out of towners tonight, catch them before they return to the people's republic of cool / Vernon Steel

   
 

December 15 2012


where
Powerscourt Shopping Centre, 59 William Street South, D2
Location Map

when
1pm-4:30pm

how much
Depends

pop-up
Simon Community Pop-Up

Simon Community, working with the homeless of our sometimes unforgiving city, are putting on a spectacular Christmas themed House of Light projection show for us people that may need a little reminder of the tireless work they do. Supported by local business (with room for more) the show will have a giant moving gift train, tonnes of snow and the big red man himself. If that's not enough, there's a Christmas magic show, choir singing and Santa's workshop. There's even a Gruffalo puppet show. A Gruffalo puppet show, people. So go, not out of guilt, but for fun, or just to meet Aidan Gillen (The Wire, Love/Hate), who will be there on Friday to launch the weekends festivities. If you can't make it, you can donate by texting SIMON to 51000. / Hugh Torpey

   
 

December 16 2012


where
Irish Museum of Modern Art (IMMA), Royal Hospital, Kilmainham, Dublin 8.
Location Map

when
12pm-5:30pm

how much
Free

exhibition
Sidney Nolan's Ned Kelly

Whether the story of Ned Kelly gained renown in England and Ireland through it's historical significance or through Heath Ledger's performance with a cast of finely chiseled outlaws, is a matter for debate. Regardless, some of the most recognisable and loved depictions of the Australian bushranger stemmed from the hand of Sidney Nolan, possibly the most prominent antipodean artist of the 20th century. The dubious morality of the Kelly gang seems irrelevant in his series of 27 paintings; each is an episode in the exploits that centred on the notorious bandit, stylised retellings of love, injustice and betrayal rather than historical accuracies. In the works, Ned Kelly takes on the persona of his iconic armour, a black, prominent motif surrounded by conflict and the arid landscape of Australia, harsh yet strikingly beautiful. / Oscar Knight

 

December 16 2012


where
Block B, Haymarket, Smithfield Square, Dublin 7


when
11am-6pm

how much
Free entry

market
Christmas Cracker

Amplify the Christmas cheer and spread the yuletide spirit! With 120 stalls and loads of eateries spreading out across Block B, this is the biggest indoor market I know of. There will be everything hand-made, home-made, vintage, foodie, recycled, re-conceptualised, rewired, re-somethinged, thanks to the wonderful artisans, artists and small businesses that form the core of the Dublin Flea&Co. Having little to no money myself, but having very specific ideas about what I'm getting everyone, I will be hitting this place up all weekend, haggling hard and buying fast. I want a taxidermied tortoise, a giant champagne bottle come candlestick, a painting, and a fur cuff. Bet you I find them there! Mulled vino and Amnesty International mean it's definitely Christmas, so find your inner-child and start counting down to that partridge in his pear tree. / Roisin Agnew

 

December 16 2012


where
Screen Cinema, D'Olier Street, Dublin 2.
Location Map

when
3pm

how much
€6-€9

screening
The Nutcracker

As a recipient of undesirable Christmas presents, I'd have thought a wooden nutcracker would take the biscuit. How many nuts does one need to crack? In the case of little Maria Stahlbaum it's love at first sight. Luckily for her, this wooden toy harbours Alice in Wonderland tendencies, shrinking Maria down to his own vertically challenged size. As with many fairytales, the clock strikes midnight and chaos ensues; a renegade posse of incredibly elegant mice launch an attack. To a backdrop of Tchaikovsky's surging soundtrack, the nutcracker, appropriately exerting his ball busting prowess, defeats the malicious Mouse King and is transformed into a handsome prince. In celebration the Land of Sweets hosts a mesmerising dance performance packed with rande de jambes and Brisé volé. You can't help but get in the Christmas spirit. Also pass the nuts. / Sarah Maguire

 

December 16 2012


where
The Front Lounge
33 Parliament Street
Dublin 2


when
Midday - 6pm

how much
Free

market
The Velvet Market

So you wish Christmas was just that little bit gayer? (Really? I mean, isn't that tree in the corner basically an evergreen in drag?) Well if you do, rejoice! And get your ass to Albert Quare for a festive market with an LGBT twist. Velvet Market curators Emily Scanlon and Gordon Grehan have gently coaxed the best home-made goodies from a diverse range of queer elves for your crimbo gift needs. Original Francis Fay prints? Check. DIY scented candle making kit? Check. Herbal tea that acts like Valium? Double check. There will also be up-cycled furniture, sustainable fashion and Mark Garvie millinery. Oh, did I mention that this is (probably) the only market in town with a full bar at your disposal? If Kirstie Allsop was a lesbian she would be so pissed she didn't think of this first. / Adam Duxbury

   
 

December 16 2012


where
The Old Fire Sation, 190a Lower Rathmines Road, Dublin 6


when
15th,16th,22nd and 23rd

how much
Free entry

market
Mart Market

Visual arts collective MART is the brainchild of Matthew Nevin and Ciara Scanlan. Fresh from their 'Invite or Reject' exhibition in America, the pair turn their creative talents to the burgeoning Christmas market scene with an Etsy-tastic set-up in the 'burbs. Great pressie ideas fill over 18 stalls and include techno/retro mash-ups like cute fabric iPad covers as well as hand drawn cards and vintage jewellery. Local artists and crafters have been called upon to help fulfil your 'it-absolutely-must-be-a-one-of-a-kind- gift' fetish, and it's all tucked inside the old Rathmines fire station. The pair are renovating the station and trying to raise enough funds to turn it into a gallery space this March, so exchanging a few yoyos for a hot cup of mulled wine on your way in will ensure future visual art wonder for Rathmines. / Adam Duxbury

   
 

December 17 2012


where
The Abbey Theatre, 26 Lower Abbey Street, D1
Location Map

when
7:30pm

how much
€13-€40

theatre
The Dead

So you have great intentions to read Ulysses, but never quite got around to it. But you've at least pored over Joyce's more easily tackled short story collection, Dubliners, right? Here is as flawless an assembly of early 20th century Dublin life as you can possibly find, with themes of love, pain, humour and loss which transcend time...The director John Huston turned the final story in the book, The Dead, into a wonderfully realised film and adapting it for the theatre, Frank McGuinness has made this look like it was originally written for the stage. You will not see a more timely and fitting tribute to one of the greatest exponents of the English language than this remarkable adaptation. From the wonderful acting, to beautifully realised sets and the, at times, emotionally evocative music, this is Dublin in all her snowy finery. / Simon Judge

 

December 17 2012


where
Project Arts Centre, 39 East Essex St, Dublin 2.
Location Map

when
8:15pm

how much
€10-€16

theatre
Jezabel

Six months into their relationship Alan (Peter Daly) and Robin (Niamh McCann) need to spice things up. The passion is gone, the spark has fizzled and the only things they can't keep their hands off is their phones. Realising that something must be done, they set about finding exciting new ways to relight their fires. An unusual plan leads to a night out where, unfortunately for them, the hapless-in-love Jezebel (Valerie O'Connor) dances into their lives. Mark Cantan's breathless, laugh-a-line comedy concerning what not to do when your sex life needs saving is the perfect remedy for anyone already tired of the happy-clappy Christmas fare, or for those still not convinced that three really is a crowd. Under the snappy direction of José Miguel Jiménez, this Rough Magic production flicks all the right switches. Highly recommended. Win Tickets / Brian Keane

   
 

December 18 2012


where
The Twisted Pepper, 54 Middle Abbey Street, Dublin 1.
Location Map

when
8pm

how much
€20

gig
Action Bronson

On the surface, Action Bronson is an unlikely rapper. The son of Albanian immigrants, Bronson was a well-respected chef on the New York culinary scene, before making the foray into rap with his aptly named debut mixtape, "Bon Appetit…Bitch!" His lyrics are gastro-infused and he has been known to drop a reference to herbs - and not just the illegal kind. (See: "Got the lamb rack roasted / Laced it with fennel".) His wickedly funny rhymes are underlain with beats sampled from such disparate sources as Dizzy Gillespie and The Little Mermaid, all of which serves to create an absurd, madcap hip-hop odyssey. Having just signed a record deal with Warner Bros Records, Bronson is on the ascendancy and remains one of the most compelling up-and-coming figures in hip-hop. Bon appetit, bitches. Win Tickets / Amy O'Connor

 

December 18 2012


where
Irish Film Institute, 6 Eustace St, Temple Bar, Dublin 2
01 679 3477
Location Map

when
6:20pm

how much
€5.20-€8.90

screening
Scrooged

Bill Murray makes everything better and easier. The louche hipster, who can currently be found at a random New York student party near you, is in a slightly self-indulgent but still effortlessly funny mood for this retelling of Dickens' classic tale. The story sticks to the traditional narrative structure, while updating it to modern day New York (where else) and has replaced Scrooge's money lender with a television executive. It's Murray's performance that pulls the viewer along though, with this maybe being the first film that we could put into his 'blue' period. He's put-upon, never in control, and always the better for it. And only Bill would be able to get away with kissing a go-go dancer while imploring his lost love (Karen Allen) to forgive him live on television. As my friend said while watching it 'She's a bit easy, isn't she?' So is Bill. / Hugh Torpey

 

December 18 2012


where
Whelan's, 25 Wexford Street, Dublin 2
Location Map

when
8pm

how much
€17.50

gig
Maud in Cahoots

It is frankly baffling that Maud in Cahoots have not yet been signed. Their commercial but resolutely quality driven music is addictive from the first listen, so you can dispense with those first few listens, finger hovering over the stop button. I first discovered Maud in Cahoots in Body and Soul at this year's Electric Picnic, and they were a revelation. They are current, yet orchestral, and show that being ferried to and from cello lessons can pay off without one having to sacrifice one's street cred. They're supporting boy wonders The Strypes tonight, but, surely, someone soon has to have a lightbulb moment, sign these pop minstrels and peddle their slick sound over the water and around the world soon...Surely... / Cora Burke

   
 

December 19 2012


where
Project Arts Centre, 39 East Essex St, Dublin 2.
Location Map

when
8pm

how much
€10-€15

dance
Ponydance Panto

Ponydance have 'dysfunctional family' written all over them, a dysfunctional family that argues in front of some really catchy incidental music. The familial dynamic really sets this dance/comedy troupe apart. There's bickering, ganging up and, most importantly, (theatrical) violence. Cos kids, violence is funny. If it wasn't, YouTube wouldn't exist. Ponydance (their name is food for thought, wouldn't Wayne Sleep have made a great jockey?) are back with their jamboree of crazy, and fingers crossed for more poledancing and strapping scared middle aged men into chairs and gyrating around them. Where Matthew Bourne or the Bolshoi elevate dance, Ponydance bring it right back into the gutter. Think graceful Ballymun donkey, the Billy Elliot of the horsey world and you've got Ponydance.  / Lisa Domino

 

December 19 2012


where
Jam Art Factory, 64/65 Patrick Street, Dublin 8


when
10am-6pm

how much
Depends

le other
Jam Art Factory

Jam Art is jam hot for all your festive needs. One stop shop for you lazy susans and your tardy present buying. Jam Art Factory is a little slice of heaven if you are a design/illustration nerd. They stock pretty trinkets for the girly hoarder in your life, funky notebooks for the scribblin' Sally, le cool mugs for the tea-lover, and prints, oh! the prints! A personal favourite has to be the neon Daniel O'Connell...Oh, the Emancipator...There is also a massive fur neon orange moustache if you're unfortunate enough not to have a mo'bro to snuggle up to on these cold winter evenings. So...in conclusion, Jam Art...if you're a jammy sod who needs to put jam on your trousers and invite them out to tea, this is the one stop shop for you. / Cora Burke

   
 
Karl Monaghan - Appy Christmas

Karl Monaghan knows if you've been naughty or nice, so let's hope he hasn't got the hotline to Santa...

The idea is to let your kids see how naughty or nice they've been by showing them how many lumps of coal they've got for being naughty, or how many presents they've got for being nice.  The app took three years to develop, but this isn't my first. I also did Pint of Plain, which helps you find the cheapest pint closest to you and my tax calculator, which brings more doom and gloom in before Christmas!

I sit down and think "What do I want in an app?". You can do more interesting things with your own app, cos they're your own ideas and you can go crazy. The next app is possibly going to be called 'In the doghouse'...instead of presents and coal, there'll be doghouses and brownies for your partner.

My highlight of 2012 is being at Apple's development conference, surrounded by 5000 other nerds wearing exactly the same outfit, not looking like a clone army at all, with no women around. Just like my teenage years.

The Santa Report is available for download here. PHOTO: seanandyvette